should i be scared??

hi i am new here and a new pit owner:

i have been reading and researching for about 4 months and now i have my first pit. he is a 4 month old rescue. he came from a house where he was chained out, not getting feed, and other big dogs were about to beat him to death. he was almost dead when found. he had to spend over 2 weeks at the vet and get all kids of IV stuff. anyways he was rescued and now i have him.

he is great with me, never leaves my side. and likes my 6 year old daughter. he is kinda unsure of my 3 year old but warming up really good. my husband on the other hand. who bless his heart is trying really hard. spending extra time with him, giving him treats and such. but bam is scared of him. my husband has been telling me he gives him a look, and untill last night i didn't believe him. the look scares me to death. this is what happend that i saw the look
my husband and i were on the bed playing with bambam. and my husband got up and moved to his chair. bam was still playing with me, and all of a sudden he looked at my husband. the look in his eyes was hollow. like he didn't have anything in him. it was very freaky. then bam started loven on me and was ok. my husband say's he does it all day, just gives him a look like he might tear him up. he is afraid the dog is damaged to bad, but at 4 moths old can't he learn to trust them, he is great with me, not a sec of trouble, he never leaves my side, and trusts me to no end. but i can't risk my kids or husband for a dog.

i have searched for him for a while and i feel that the good lord brought us together, and it will kill me to give my dog up. but as a mommy i gotta look past what i want and for the safty of my kids. do you think i'm jumping the gun on this one?? my husband is scared of him, and doesn't trust him one bit.
bam-bam's mommy

 

You should give the pup a bit of time. A look can mean nothing. Does he show any aggression towards your husband? Have him do everything with the dog, feed, water, walk, play, etc. Everyone else, leave the dog alone. Do this for a couple weeks, and by learning that your husband is the one caring for him, he should warm up fine.

 

Hello there Bambam's mother.....Yes, it sounds like the people who had bambam first were pushing him and sort of abusing him. Your husband (being a man) may remind it of them. Your kids should be fine. Animal aggression and aggression towards humans are two different things.

I believe your dog should be playing with your husband the way it does with you. Please ask your husband to get on the floor and begin playing with him, scratching his ear, and try to "tickle" it and place it belly up. when it allows your husband to place him belly up, he should be rubbing his stomach and the like. You need to address this issue now that it is only a pup (4 months right?). Tell your husband to make the crying sound a dog would do for attention. If the pup comes or just stares, tell him to lay on the floor. Another exercise could be for your husband to lay belly up on the floor and place the pup on his stomach. While on your husband's stomach, he should be playing while looking at him, and also trying to have the pup come closer to your husband's face. The point is to have your husband be able to touch the pup with his face. Yes it may sound weird but once a dog allows a person to bring their face (in essence, their mouth) so close that the dog 'trust' he will not be harmed (in dog mentality, biten). The concern if he matures in this matter is that Bambam will be very protective of you (and children) against your husband.

While your husband plays with him, he should be using a sweet tone of voice and praise him when it takes food from him....such as "that's a good doggy" etc. He (your husband) reminds the dog of those who mistreated him. You can't blame the dog for being careful. When the dog looks at him "funny", ask your husband to again speak in a sweet voice and ask...."what's the matter puppy? What's the matter?" or something of the sort. He should get low to the ground and ask the puppy to come to him. If he does this everyday, he should learn good things about MAN. Let us know how you do!

 

Just a reminder, NEVER ever leave your kids & the dog alone together not even for 3 seconds while you run to turn the oven off. Not because the dog is a pit bull, I don't care if it's Lassie, it's just not a smart thing to do.

It almost sounds as if the pup is becoming possessive of you & may be starting to exhibit some guarding tendencies (i.e. the dog is by your side & stares down your husband if he makes a movement around you or towards you). This has got to stop. I'm glad the pup has bonded to you, but one thing you might want to consider is getting him a kennel & putting the pup in it for a couple of hours each day so he's not constantly following you around. When he's in the kennel, leave a bone or something for him to chew on so he's not too bored.

Now about your husband. What kind of role does he play in the rearing, feeding, or training of the dog. Does he just leave the pup alone for the most part & ignore him, or is he active in the care for the dog? Did he even want the pup in the first place? Is it possible he resents the puppy being in your home (this can cause serious problems in a household)?

For the time being, I would start having your husband become the primary caretaker of the pup. Have your husband be the only one to feed the pup, take him outside to potty, & so on. Your pup is also well old enough to learn some commands such as "sit", "down", "leave it", so have your husband spend around 20 min. a day working with the pup on these things. Training treats are a must in this situation to keep it a positive experience. (all the above mentioned recommendations are for when your husband is home. obviously, you will have to be the one who does these things for the pup when your husband is at work)

It's important that your husband NOT be afraid of this pup or distrust this pup. Dogs can sense these emotions & it will only encourage the puppy's behavior & cause things to get worse. If your husband cannot find it in himself to take the upper hand in the pups upbringing & thereby learn to trust the pup, then I believe you might have a situation in wich the pup might have to be rehomed. HOWEVER, I believe that with proper training & socialization this pup can turn out to be a great family pet.

Edit: I also advise getting the puppy enrolled in a basic obedience course with a qualified certified trainer. This can make a world of difference.

 

I don't think involving the family would hinder the pup's eventual understanding that your husband is a good guy. I am sure the pup was fed by some MAN while under the previous owner's care. I believe he needs a total change. Kids, wife, and husband should all be involved but your husband needs additional involvement (one-to-one). I think this is what you meant CHAiNSOFF.

 

Well, I guess you thought wrong. The husband should be the primary caregiver, doing everything, as to teach the dog he's master. The others may play a bit, but nothing more. The husband must do the work to bond to the dog.

 

Remember that it was the wife that brought the dog home. The husband was not driven to get the dog. in the long term, the wife will probably be the one which will do everything for the dog. In essence, she will be the master. Sorry if you think the man has to be "the master" all the time. If Bam bam's mother believes her husband will be the one that will tend to the dog in the long run, then I agree he should take the bulk of responsibility now.

 

my husband has him all day when i'm at work so he gets a chance to play with him, as does the kids. but bam doesn't like to go out to potty with him, when i'm gone bam seems depressed. i didn't go get him, a friend of ours that rescued him brought him to us. he got there about an hour before i did, and i was told he just tucked his tail and hid. when i got there i called for him and he cam bounding out and hasn't left me since. he is very possissive of me. he will get in between me and the kids, or me and my husband. he wants all of my attention. and i understand he has been in a bad place and i make him feel safe. so i have encouraged my husband to play with him with me there so bam feels safe. so my husband gets to feed him and walk him with out me. but bambam loves it when i do it. he really didn't eat much till i got home yesterday. bambam will sit and laydown on command my husband taught him that, with treats. and he did want the puppy almost as much as me. but he is scared of him and doesn't trust him. i think bam bam knows that. my husband is a big man, but the girls are little, i just don't want the doggy to attack them. my husband puts him in his crate at night, he is scared he might attack the kids while we are asleep. only the dog hasn't made not one aggessive move towards the kids. not one, so i don't know. can a dog be empty inside and not have feelings like love and loyalty?? i don't believe they can, but i'm doubting my self now. i love this boy!!!


laura

 

pitbulls are family dogs. in most case when they bite someone they have either been taught or they are protecting there territory. it is a puppy that has been through hell. give it time. it will grow to love your family and protect your children. I am speaking from my experiences with this great breed.

 

the pup just needs a little rehabilitation. in his early days he most likly had a human male that mistreated him. now it is hard for him to trust every human male. i'm sure its not just your husband, if a male friend of yours came over the dog would act the same to him, but he would love any female friend you have. most importantly be patient with to dog. your husband needs to continue to show a positive attitude to the dog and most importantly be patient with him.

 

I think the pup is sensing your husbands fear.
This dogs are very inteligent and can sense our fellings, just give it time like has been said its a pup that has been mistreated!

Good luck and keep us posted.

Welcome to the site

 

While I know you are just wanting to make him feel safe, it seems you're doting attention is only justifying & encouraging his possessiveness & guarding. This is a big NO-NO! Your dog should not be guarding you from your kids & your husband. This behavior can definitely lead to a serious situation. Don't get me wrong, I love my dogs & cuddle with them (too much sometimes ), but I myself began having serious issues with my dogs when I forgot one thing--that they are dogs. I began humanizing them too much & that led to some possessive issues & aggression issues (w/Wrigley, non APBT) & I can tell you, it's not fun at all.

While it's ok for you to reassure your pup when he's scared, it's not ok to let him think he can come between you & your family or boss anyone around. Your pup doesn't own you, you own him & that's a point that must be instilled through training. I am no means a "beat 'em" kind of trainer, but I did learn that only positive reinforcement training is gonna get someone bit. Training must consist of both positive & negative reinforcement (i.e. if a dog's digging in the trash, your not gonna pull him away speaking to him in a baby voice telling him he's a "bad itlle doggie" & then give him a bone to chew on, as this only reinforces that if he digs in the garbage he's gonna get a treat. you pull him away from the trash with a very firm "NO!" & then make him leave the room. then put him in a sit & give him a treat. it's called redirection)

While you can get & will get some very good advice & training tips on here, what you need to do is find a trainer as soon as possible & get your puppy enrolled in obedience class. Also, find a trainer that is willing to devote phone time to you & even come to your house if need be (& to me it sounds like that is what's needed). You might even look into an animal behaviorist. In my experience, the dogs that bite us or try to bite us the most (at the clinic), are the ones who are overly babied, humanized, & are allowed to get away with that behavior. You sound like you really want the best for your family but also for the puppy & that's very commendable. The fact that you are looking for help vs. just dumping the dog back at the pound speaks a lot on your compassion. But now you must not only be a mom, but a trainer, & an enforcer of rules--strict rules--for your pup. Ya'll need to go back to square 1 & begin training from scratch. And remember, just b/c your pup gets scared or nervous, there are other ways of calming him down than just taking him in your arms & giving all attention to him. Try to redirect with a fun game or a walk. I also still stand by my adivce on getting your pup a kennel. This way he can have his own bed & own space (basically a den) where he can relax & take some time out.

 

Sounds Like He May Have Had It Rough In The Past With Males. Then Again, He May Be Protecting You, If He See's You As The Beta Dog. If All Of You Don't Establish The Dominance Order, He Could Get Worse As He Gets Older. It's Good That Your Husband Gets To Spend More Time With Him, But He Still Needs To Know Who's In Charge At All Times. And If He Stops Playing And"locks" Eyes With Him, You're Supposed To Make The Dog Break The Stare First. You Don't Have To Be Mean At All, Just Firm. He'll Probably Still Favor You, And Try To Keep Your Attention. But Just Praise And Treat Him With Good Behavior, And Let Him Know When A Behavior Isn't Wanted. And I Wouldn't Ever Leave Your Kids Alone With The Dog. They're Too Close To His Size, They Can See Them As A Challenge In The Dominance Order. Just Work With Him And Be Patient, You Don't Know What He's Been Through. Good Luck!

 

Yea it really just sounds like you are playing with him 2 much and he's becoming jealous or protective of you. Since your the only one showing him the love he was neglected from, he's prolly eager to keep it that way. Just like whats already been said I think you should let your husband do everything. It was an episode like this on the DOG WHISPERER.

 

We have one like this we are working with now. We are bringing him in at night and allowing him to sleep in the house. He has already shown positive progress. He wouldn't come out of his doghouse when we first got him. Now he will come running wagging his tail wanting attention. If this dog is at all playful, there is hope. This guy just needs a lot of time and care, with a lot of caution as well; caution because he has been abused, not because he is a bulldog. Many, if not all breeds act this way if they have had to practice "fight or flight" very often. If he ever shows aggression, he should be scolded verbally for it so he knows this is unacceptable behavior. Just a quick verbal command like, "NO" with a raised lower toned voice should be sufficient without gettin carried away. He'll get the idea.
Good luck with your pup.

 

I totally agree with Mia, if the dog misbehaves....a firm tone is needed but for every good thing.....praise should be given. Your husband should treat him as a baby (at first only) until the pup disassociates his experience with the new.

Also, you must show your pup his place in the family. When I first got my dog, he was also right behind me every room I went into and always wanted to be between me and my daughter or wife. Try this: whenever the pup is with you while watching TV, etc.....ask one of your kids to come to you and sit on your lap.....at the same time, tell the dog to get down (if on your lap). He may try to to back to his "place" but speak to him firmly and don't let him get between you and your kid. If you do this as an exercise, it should not be long before it understands that whenever your kids/husband come around, it must move to allow them near you.

In addition, try pulling his tail (hard) a few times to get him used to "kids" doing unexpected things to him. If he is anything like my Rocky, he will get annoyed (at first) of this and kinda make a growling sound....again, with a firm voice say "NO" and pull his tail repeatedly until he looks forward or only looks at you. This should be done for a few days. You may also want to pull on his ear and everything you may think a little kid would do. I for one, believe my dog to be fully prepared for anything a kid may do. In fact, I can tell you a story of when my daughter 'bit' my dog in the ear. This is the only time I have ever heard my dog cry out of pain.....and you know what he did? He just ran out of the room to find me. It made me very proud of my training.

 

ok so in my trying to make him feel loved and comfortable with us i may have been babying him way to much. when i am watching TV i call him into my lap to watch, he sleeps with us(well did the first 3 nights), i take him out for potty time, and when he hears the other dogs in the neighbor hood and looks scared i baby talk to him and snuggle him up. so i am doing this!! ok i think i can work on this to correct the behavior. giving up is a hard idea for me, so i came looking for help. i don't like to back down or give up on something i believe in, thanks ya'll for being so helpfull. oh and he has a crate now, my husband started not feeling safe with him loose at night so i have to crate him while we sleep. which i hate cause he cuddles me when he sleeps with me. he has never growled or barked, not for any reason, it is just that crazy look in his eyes. he loves to play fetch and will play with the kids or me. my husband hasn't tried yet, but i'll get him on it right away. thanks guys. we won't give up yet!!!

laura

 

i know if he's an inside dog, you'll want to love on him constantly, or pet him all the time, or have him close to you. just make sure he does something to deserve this treat. sit, lay down, or any of his tricks will be enough to let him know that nothings free. and that he's not in charge of when he gets attention.

 

Some good good points and ideas were brought up in this thread!

The first thing I would do is buy a crate if you dont already have one. Second, for about 2 weeks, let your husband be in charge of all the pups needs..feeding, walking, attention .. (this sounds cruel but it helps the pup learn to trust him more)

this also means that you wont be able to baby the pup.. since the pup has already bonded to you. No, this wont make the pup forget you or be mean to you or anyone else, it will just help the pup learn to trust your husband and not be so possesive of you!

Remember.. dogs arent kids!! But like kids lol, they do need time apart, too ..

REally, since th pup has been through so much, it sounds he is lacking in confidence.. with you he finds that and that can be a bad thing later in life ..but at the same time, that pup will do anything for you and that is a good thing, especially in training lol.. the pup is more likely to want to please you.

Good luck! And yes, I would enroll in some puppy classes asap.. good for socialization and getting use to all kinds of people!

 

I would just like to say, it is horrible what it sounds like this poor puppy has been through, before I read it was a puppy, I would of advised putting him to sleep, not finding him a new home.....he is odviously very insecure from what he's been through, make him feel safe and secure and loved very much, but he also has to eventually learn how to be a big boy.....I also would strongly advise taking him to the obediance classes, also, while you are there, ask people, especially men to pet him and give him treats etc. maybe even hand him over to someone to hold for a minute or two after you see he is getting better at class and being around strangers and feeling more confident about himself ...I also agree that your husband needs to take more time with him, feeding, playing etc...Everyone who lives their MUST do this , he must be around EVERYONE ....This is a 4 month old puppy, I'm sure your husband can defend himself from the dog if needed, However , NEVER leave children unattended around dogs, they are animals, that goes for any breed....Your family must ALWAYS come first....Theirs been some good advice posted, I would try some things mentioned, and see how things go.....I personally feel, theirs great dogs and puppies out there that have been fortunate enough not to have been tramatized that also need loving homes and depending on your expieriance, might be a better option.....however, he is only 4 months old so that is a definate plus ! every dog is differant and the way they might handle things and are affected by things are differant.....if he had a good strong tempermant from the beginning, it might just take some time and he would become a wonderful pet, if his tempermant was'nt real strong before this happened to him, he might never recover....all depends on the dog...Another thought is your husband and his feelings....its very unfortunate this happened, you have to decide whats best for you.....If after all efforts are exhausted and if he's not getting better and if you've decide not to keep him, I would put him to sleep, I would not place him....I personally, would not want to be responsible or could live with myself if something ever happened to someone, and if you don't trust him around , how would you feel giving him to someone else.....With only being a puppy, I really hope things work out, and if things don't, I would recommend getting a young puppy if you decide to get another one....good luck...(JMO)