Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions

Here's ten examples to start with... SQ = Stupid Question. SA = Snappy Answer.

SQ: "Do you wanna sell him/Can I have him?"
SA: "Sure, I'll trade him for a member of your family... It has to be someone you actually LOVE though"

SQ: "Do you wanna breed him?"
SA: "Hell yeah! Go to the animal shelter and adopt a spayed female Pit Bull, and we'll let 'em go at it. When you go to the shelter, make sure you specify a SPAYED female Pit Bull, and let them know you want to breed her with a NEUTERED male Pit Bull"

SQ: "How are you gonna feel when that dog mauls your kids?"
SA: "He already did, the wife too! At least it wasn't the other way around. I'd be devastated if my family mauled my dog, which in all seriousness, happens a LOT more often than the dog mauling the family."

SQ: "Man, don't you know those dogs are bad news?"
SA: "Yeah, but so was Hurricane Katrina. That storm killed almost as many people in 2005 as this little guy did that same year. Now I call him 'Hurricane Sam'!"

SQ: "Do you fight him?"
SA: "Nah, but sometimes we argue, and he always puts me in my place"

SQ: "You're an a-hole for owning such a vicious dog"
SA: (kneeling down and receiving hug and enthusiastic tongue facial from said 'vicious dog') "Yeah, that's right boy! WHOZ an a-hole? WHOZ an a-hole? MEEEEEEEE!" (looks at accuser) "Nah, we both know who the A-hole is here, don't we boy?"

SQ: "You must be compensating for having a small penis to own a dog like that!"
SA: "Well, my heart told me this guy needed a good home, so, I guess you're right, my penis is smaller than my heart... still bigger than your brain though."

SQ: "That's one of them KILLER dogs, ain't it?"
SA: (immitating Spricoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High) "He suuuuuuure is, duuuuuuude! Yeah, he's totally bitchen!"

SQ: "Is that a Pitt? Don't you read the news?"
SA: "Sure, I read the news. As far as I know, my dog is no relation to the Pitt family. I read that Brad's thinking about retiring from show business though. Didn't see that coming!"

SQ: "You know those dogs have locking jaws, right?"
SA: "Of course I do! I keep the key with me so I can UN-lock them though. I mean, I'm not STUPID!"

Post your own, or others you've heard.

Cross posted from PB-C.com

 

thats funny shit, the one about being an a hole....if anyone says that to me I say yes I am sad aint it....... they never have an answer for that and in the moment the look on there face is priceless cos they expect a defensive reaction.

 

i love it when people say "How can you own such a vicious dog? if i saw a pit bull i'd shoot it." i say funny i was going to ask your husband/wife the same thing about you, and if i saw you running loose i'd shoot you.

or "Aren't you afraid those dogs will attack your kids?" i say "don't you know i feed them babies. that's why we keep having kids.":rolleyes:

haha how about " i got a pit his bloodline is rednose/colby. i wanna breed him." "lmao ok buddy you got a keeper there don't let him go."

my hubby also likes psychologically damaging stupid people. had a guy pull up in front of the house. he stops and sees us in the front yard. he has some pups in his truck. he says i got these blue pups for sale you wanna buy one. my hubby, w/o missing a step, jumps up and says "hey i'm w/ the humane society where did you get those dogs? what's your name again?" i bout died laughing that guy peeled out so quick the marks are still on the road. cruel but funny as hell.

i love stupid questions, they are the easiest way to show people just how stupid they actually are.

 

Bump, lmfao.

 

thats funny!

 

LMFAO!!! funny isn't the word!!!

 

The Pitt one was the best, haha!

 

LMFNO!! @ PRPITDAWG!!!! Thats a good one. I get SICK of hearing ppl say "this is my pitbull. . .he Razors Edge/Bluenose" I jus walk off.

 

OK, I've behaved till now but...where is the fucking thank you button?

Marty and this thread deserve it!!!!!!!

 

WoWw. He's mean look at his face? ..........he's just ugly whats your excuse?

CoO, thas a blue nose pit right? lol........i think soo lol, dont really know what he is.

 

I love the last one, great shit! I have the key lol.

 

The best one was the reply to "do you fight him". LMAO

 

awesome answers..lmao

 

I usually get some dickhead that wants to know if my dog is a GATORMOUF. I usually say "hell yeah, put your head in his MOUF and pull it out real quick! It's alot of fun!":p

 

this will be used lol

 

Lmao...........................................

 

Great post! I'm going to use some those SA. lmao 2.

 

i like the first one lol. and the a hole one. good post