Tech Support

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry
applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0
system. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other "valuable"
programs, such as romance 9.9, and installed "undesirable"
programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1. Conversation
8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to
no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate


Dear Desperate:
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment
package, while husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter
the command C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2.
Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilt
3.3 and Flowers 7.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband
1.0 to default to such applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy
Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will
create SnoringLoudly.WAV files. DO NOT install Mother­in­law 1.0
or reinstall another boyfriend program. These are not supported
applications, and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also potentially
cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program: Girlfriend 9.2, which
runs in the background and has been known to introduce
potentially serious viruses into the Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You
might consider buying additional software to enhance his system
performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single
Malt Scotch 4.5 combined with such applications as that old
standby... Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

 

hehe I seen this before but still makes me laugh